my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. I didnt either with my late husband Too much cheating etc. I live in my garage, shop, apartment and happy as clam no yelling and name calling. But in practice, no one is equal. Id rather die than lose him. Fundamentally, it comes down to 3 choices: leave, cheat, or suffer. Ive considered a fuck-buddy, but I cant do that to her. Prostitutes are not a good option since all the bad stuff in the sex industry world and I feel that I am too old to move on and I am not a chick magnet. Take the good with the bad. Who sacrifices? Really? The problem with respecting a partner who doesnt want sex any longer, is that the other person who does want sex needs to be respected too. Its been over three months since weve had sex. Ive tried all the normal things too. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. unless you feel he is better then nothing. The lack of interested finally scuttled her interest to find help. Well a few years ago sex began to get less and less. There is one other medical condition relating to touch called allodynia. If I wish to continue my marriage , I guess I should just accept the situation and carry the cross of feeling unsatisfied. It's a horrible feeling to want sex, but not want it with your partner. Its been a slow process in development, heading to the place we have arrived in our relationship. Its not that hes a bad person hes not but at this point hes kind of like a zombie. But. In most cases, Ive seen that men dont realize and acknowledge the needs of their wives. I hope this is helpful to someone. Please explain to me. When hes not writing or advising people on how to thrive in their relationships, he loves exploring new places with his partner, working out, and pretending that hes good at cooking exotic stuff. I am at my wits end. I am Married 47 years, I am 67 she is 70. Focusing on her pleasure will make her banish any thought that my wife never wants to have sex.. In my case our problems are ever deeper in that ours is a Love /Hate relationship. When a wife who has to cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, pick the kids up from school and take a couple of classes she is too tired to perform another task after all that she has done in one day. We stopped having sex ten years ago, she wont talk about it. Mates but l want to .feel loved , should l hang lt up and move on ty. Females are elevated to the superior status of the male they pair with the reverse is not true receive the protection and provisioning of that male, and enjoy the primary bond with the children. My husband had 19 affairs. I love her. My wife stop having sex with me its been 8 months. Prostate cancer is the #1 cancer in older men and when the prostate is removed during surgery it makes a man totally impotent no erection, no ejaculation, no orgasm plus total incontinence which means the post cancer patient needs to wear Depends diapers for the rest of his life. But, do not sell yourself. Best to all. She would still complain of pain. She just isnt attracted to me. The sooner you understand what it is youre going through, the quicker youll be able to address it. Id never treat him as she does! As a matter of fact, if shes not enjoying herself, I stop. He is selfish, lazy and quite frankly a self absorbed narcissist. I heard my uncles talk about sex like it was something from their youth that has long gone. Save yourself it is merely self preservation. Most dont ever have this figured out. He then sits and reads for hours on end. My husband stopped 25 years ago when he couldnt get it up. We cant really talk about it because the very subject causes her great depression because she feels like its all her fault and that she is failure as a lover. My functioning would be fine when engaging in sex with a woman for the first time, paid sex, and one night stands. the you. There are many types of intimacy, and they tend to dovetail. I finally asked him he said I was crab and mad all the time, I have a lot of pain and take a lot of meds sometime, and yes I am very unhappy with my life, but I try to hid it. You're focusing too much on just the sexual aspect of . It might be time for you to be more responsible and let your wife have some me-time. Pamper her with a spa day or take her out on a nice vacation for two, to break the monotony and give her the relaxation she truly needs and deserves. We had an active sex life and I miss the physical part of our lives. Nope no sex. It might be seen as an act of charity on the womans part, but is it really a healthy recipe for life? Then ask them what they are willing to do about it once and for all. Is there any way I can help alleviate some of the stress she is feeling? Color me confused. Let them know how their refusal to engage with you sexually has affected you emotionally, physically, mentally and pyschologically. I have no idea what to do. I think in many cases a therapist is in order but if only one party wants this and the other refuses to address the problem or go to a therapist, then the stalemate will undoubtedly continue unabated until well, divorce or death, whichever comes first! I have rekindled a relationship that ended over fifty years ago with a woman I dated right before I met my wife. So, maybe you need to think about going back to being friends and not husband and wife? I wish you the best. I miss the simple things. I had a client recently who was so angry at her spouse, she said she didnt want to have any physical intimacy with her husband, If he wants to get divorced, let him get divorced, she said. Being a mom is a 24-7 job with a constant cycle of happiness, stress, and worry. But after our second kid it just dried up to not much. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter. Get a better paying job so she doesnt have to work her butt off. We havent had sex in months. I was disgusted with the thought of my tongue in that region. This really sucks. Of course, all this pressure makes it harder for sex to seem to go well.". Without the energy of wooing, the fear of missing out if we do not woo, we fall into complacency and boredom. I happen to like the situation I created and I will never change it. But if its truly my duty.. Some of it comes from knowing that your partner is unhappy," she writes at mbg. She refuses to talk about it. Ive no where to go. aids that i bought. Well -they dont. Ive tried scheduling, bringing in sex toys, texting, dating, hugging and cuddling in bed you name it. Without this love, there isn't much for the relationship to stand on. about this, nothing will change. Sweetie, I love you with all my heart and it saddens me that you have no interest in intimacy with me and refuse to explore any potential solutions. Shortly after, our daughter in law and our granddaughters moved out of state. Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing! Am I undesirable? Mostly sexless for ten years and when I talk to her she just says, Im not attracted to you anymore, so get a girlfriend. Go out and kill a hog, punch a younger guy in the face, ride a harley, do a steroid cycle. 5509 W. Gray Street, Suite 100Tampa, FL 33609(813) 222-8300, Copyright 2022 Family First, INC. All Rights Reserved.Site Design by Design Extensions, 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. Reading some of the commentary I can identify with the concerns.I fantasize frequently about past relationships and what might have been but I only become sadder. Medication also he ls good to me but his hobby ls everything to him he jokes around with me we are like room My husband never had my love of sex. The one thing she always wants when she touches me is that I come on her tits.which I love. Shes been mostly dry since a few years before menopause. You cannot force desire no matter what you do or if it is the other partner, same thing. "Anatomically and physiologically, decreasing estrogen and just plain aging cause potential problems for our libido," Hardwick-Smith writes in her book. Better than NO sex of any sort for 10+ years, and being rediculed for masturbating. It takes two. I am 53 and my wife is 55. Here are the 15 most probable reasons behind your wifes lack of interest in intimacy. Only your wife herself can tell you the exact reason why she's not interested in having sex with you. ), then it's worth her talking to her doctor. My ex was 16 years younger then me. Hmmm. I wont lecture: youve all read about it. We went to a number of therapists but none were able to help. People might think Im lonely but Im not, I work alone and I get all the right answers talking to my self. What about the emotional security of being held while you sleep? Ive even had the gumption to suggest that if HE doesnt desire sex, then maybe he could still give me pleasure. It destroyed us and our marriage for all intents and purposes. Divorce isnt either Im not ever going to hurt her. Can we please talk about how we each feel about sex in our relationship? Yes it seems so mechanical and cut and dry the way some men are, so no sex is much more appealing. I always talk to her and ask what turns her on. Or if your wife does have a known medical issue, talk to each other about how your sex life might be being affected and ways you can work together to keep your sex life healthy. Hopefully I will die and be out of this misery. BTWsome in your wifes position build great insurmountable resentment. I see a divorce in the near future. You talk about your wife not being in the mood. Thats an elusive state when were not driven by our hormones. Maybe we should start a group. . You are so right. Women want to be swept off their feet. We are still asexually active and every time we see couples enjoying sex, it puts extreme sadness in our souls because we are faithful to our partner. While men often connect to their wives through physical intimacy, a wife needs a mix of physical arousal and, Love Hormones Unraveling the Veracity of the Science of Love. Spice up your appearance. Its been a lonely and humiliating experience. Believe me when I say that she has really tried and every time it has turned out badly, I really feel like an ass for going along with the effort the she was making. As the years tick away, I am reminded of going to sleep in one anothers arms, morning sex, spontaneous make out sessions and feeling desired. . You need to talk to her and get to the root of whats causing her panic and anxiety whenever she gets close to you; when she feels comfortable and that whatever major issue there is, gets resolved, maybe your sex life will return. We could be spontaneous. Between her legs the next time.4, stop watching porn if you know this makes her feel uncomfortable as we all know when men watch porn that will lead into you not being able to get it up for her because you have been watching photoshops porn and all you want is that fake lady so you go out and cheat on your wife then come home and accuse her of cheating and thats why she is not having sex with you. And lots of different health issues and life circumstances can affect your hormones, as can taking hormonal birth control (i.e., the pill). nuff said. I in the same boat as your husband. But, here we are with 13 grandchildren from the strong marriages of our 9 surviving children. But I noticed the past 3 years she has seldom initiated intimate relations, and I attribute that to she likes to use her ipad and play puzzle / word/ and brain teaser games and does surf her FB some. After having our first child, my wife wasnt thinking about sex at all. Sucks to be me, right! I bet if a man did ever6a woman does in one day he would not bitch about sex he would pass out. But how does that viewpoint help you find happiness in life? We had enjoyed a lovely sex life, with the usual speed bumps (kids, work,etc) but we never stopped. Our finances have never been merged and the only money between us has been my initial investment in her business. Make time when you are both relaxed. When they stop they stop. We love each other but no sexual contact leads to a very frustrating relationship. Super heart broken!!! Try to keep things fun and adventurous between the sheets so that your wife is unable to resist you. We tried and tried to get them to call us but their mother has convinced them that I am to blame for our sons death. So all women who married men and saw this first hand, from 14 to 80. . I desire tenderness and affection, not just an orgasm. At 45 years old I met this man I understand all the reasons she doesnt want sex except one, if she actually loves me wouldnt there be some effort? . Have affairs and visit escorts. i do not want to go outside the marriage so i guess living with the problem is the. She told me years ago that weve had all the kids were going to have, whats the point?. It hard to bud out. Like, whats wrong with me? Having married one of the well into that 34% is hell. Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? Got thru menopause with that help. No one wants to talk about it. So, I guess Ill just embrace the suck. An undiagnosed, underlying medical condition can also be the reason for a decreased sex drive. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. 1. He wears it and with a little imagination it can work just like the real thing. If he would quit his demands, realize Im not who I was, be cheerful and easy, love life and just lighten up, Id make sure he is sexually satisfied WAY MORE OFTEN. Ever again. And I cook, shop for food, take care of dogs and have. My ex is 70; I am 63. we have been married about 22 years. Take care of yourself. Theres more to life than that, theres more to life than escapingtheres connecting deeper with your partner, taking more trips, spending more time together, learning more skills, building or supporting others together, getting involved in your communities more! Related Reading: How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating. Grab Now! So I cheat. I chose the platter for one. What do you think a man can do and should do in these cases ??? I cant make the same wages I did before my illness, but added to my retirement money, it can get close. My wife and I now both sleep with settled stomachs (and I dont wake hungry in the night). Knowing I will never be wanted again in that way by her or any woman corrodes my spirit a little more each day. I did a lot of stuff that I thought would make things easier for her. I am a 58 year old woman. He got the pill from the dr, but with his weight and age, I was just too scared for him to try it. * THE SECTION BELOW TO INSERT DYNAMIC VALUES FROM YOUR Since this is our first child, I dont even know whats normal and what isnt. This is how civilizations are built. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. Thank you Jeff! Women love that. So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. Im throwing my partner out the door due to his rants and anger over lack of sex. Im considering leaving altogether and realize it will put a financial strain on both of us although we have significant cash equity in our home which can make it much easier in retirement.

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